Estrangement refers to the state of being no longer on friendly terms or part of a social group.
It can also mean no longer living with one’s spouse or one or more siblings isolating themselves.
Estrangement involves a breakdown in relationships, leading to emotional and physical distance between individuals who were once close.
When a family member decides to separate themselves from the family it can cause significant levels of trauma in families.
Family estrangement can be a complex and painful experience. Here are some common causes:
- Abuse and Neglect: This includes physical, emotional, sexual, or psychological abuse, as well as neglect of basic needs.
- Value and Lifestyle Conflicts: Differences in values, beliefs, or lifestyles can lead to significant disagreements and estrangement.
- Marital or Family Dynamics: Issues such as favouritism perceived or real, sibling rivalry, or conflicts between in-laws can contribute to estrangement.
- Mental Health Issues: Unaddressed mental health problems can strain relationships and lead to distancing.
- Generational Trauma and Patterns: Historical family issues and patterns of behaviour can perpetuate estrangement across generations.
- Financial Disputes: Conflicts over money, inheritance, or financial responsibilities can also cause rifts.
What can you do.
Curiosity and empathy are needed.
When both parties are willing to discuss events and resultant feelings that identify and acknowledge the root cause or causes of the need for distance in the relationship, estrangement may be resolved. Often the root causes are buried in history, possibly originating in the experiences of childhood.
Identifying the root causes may be difficult, so employing the expertise of an experienced counsellor to connect the dots shortens the process considerably.