What is it, how and when is it developed?
Why and How We Learn Self-Images and World Views
Our self-images and world views are formed at a very early age. This learning primarily comes from how others interact with us. Whether these interactions are positive and loving or negative and critical significantly impacts our self-esteem, which is a fundamental tool for navigating life.
The Role of Interactions in Shaping Self-Esteem
Self-esteem is built through interactions with others. Positive interactions make us feel good, while negative interactions make us feel bad. Think of self-esteem as a bank balance, with positive interactions adding to the balance and negative interactions withdrawing from it.
Types of Interactions
There are two types of interactions: conditional and unconditional, each with positive and negative forms.
Conditional Positive Interactions
These interactions make us feel valued for specific reasons.
For example, a child might receive praise for picking up toys, or an adult might be complimented on a job well done. Each conditional positive interaction adds to our self-esteem bank balance.
Unconditional Positive Interactions
These interactions make us feel valued without any specific reason. They are more valuable than conditional positives and significantly boost our self-esteem.
Conditional Negative Interactions
These interactions make us feel devalued for specific reasons. For example, a child might be criticized for not picking up toys, or an adult might be insulted for poor cooking. Each conditional negative interaction significantly withdraws from our self-esteem bank balance.
Unconditional Negative Interactions
These interactions make us feel most devalued without any specific reason. They are extremely damaging, especially in cases of abuse, and can severely deplete our self-esteem.
Cultural Focus on Negatives
Our culture often emphasizes negatives and fails to communicate positives effectively. This tendency impacts our self-esteem and world view, as we are more likely to receive criticism than praise.
Impact on Life Choices
Our self-esteem influences our life choices, including jobs, relationships, and activities. Positive self-esteem leads to positive life choices, while negative self-esteem leads to self-defeating behaviours.
Early Childhood and Self-Esteem
Early childhood experiences play a critical role in shaping self-esteem. Positive interactions during this period lead to a higher self-esteem bank balance, while negative interactions lead to a lower balance.
Dangerous Behaviours and Low Self-Esteem
Low self-esteem can lead to dangerous behaviours, such as substance abuse and criminal activity. These behaviours are often attempts to cope with emotional pain.
The Good News
Self-esteem can be improved at any age. By focusing on positive interactions and working to build self-esteem, we can change our self-images and world views for the better.
Conclusion
In summary, our self-images and world views are shaped by early interactions with others. Positive interactions build self-esteem, while negative interactions deplete it. By understanding this process, we can work to improve our self-esteem and make positive life choices.
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